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31 Days of Free Writes: Study, 31 Lessons : Seize the Time

Monday is one of the sweetest days of my life.  That day, four years ago.
I got the October baby I had wished for.
October, 24th, 2012. 
A dark complected, bright eyed baby, cloaked with black hair. 
Moriah. 
My third girl. 
I remember for so many reasons I had always wanted three girls.  A band of girls.
She was my final wish.
I had always dreamed about having a harvest baby too. I love all my kids birthdays, but I enjoy her season and birthdate the most. 
Because Moriah was the third and I was already deep in mothering two other girls she sometimes fell through the cracks. Many times. 
I babied her the longest in nursing, but she didn't receive the same attention, the same hours of story reading, the same showering of undivided attention.  There was just too much going on.  I was homeschooling older girls too and as Moriah grew and toddled around she occupied herself mostly as the older girls and I did things. 
She became quite the master of playing within her own imagination. 
In fact she plays so well by herself arranging her rainbow colored ponies and flying dolls above her head, she can easily play for an hour all by herself and not look away. The house is quiet except for her room where a fast paced conversation is taking place between Moriah and all of her toys.  
She is quite the contented and independent little girl. 
But I was missing her, missing the blossoming of Moriah.  
I felt it, that i was losing the knowing of her in all that was transpiring.
Especially last year when I wasn't the best.  I was at my worst.  
Last January, I gave up homeschooling and entered into being a mama who dropped her older kids off at school and kept her toddler and infant. 
It was new and unfamiliar.  I needed this respite. My mind and heart were unraveled and reeling.  
I wasn't the best mom, I wasn't able to be.  Too much going on. I made it through the days but not thriving.  
But this August when my older girls returned to school I decided to make this year the year I studied Moriah.  
I knew October leaves would mean my three year old was leaving and turning four. Now was the time to know her. To talk with her at length.  To hear her ideas.  To try to plan and do so many things she would love.  To take her places just because she alone wanted to go.  No input from big sissies.  To get cups of frozen yogurt and lay beside each other while the baby slept and watch the same show she always wants to.
To massage her feet after her bath as she laughs and smells like lavender.  I never did that before, but I love doing it now.
She has started talking so much.  She stays up the latest with me at night settling beside me to snuggle and chat. 
It's making a difference.  She is animated, enthusiastic, and babbling like a running over brook. 
She is expressing stories, thoughts, and dancing with all of her heart. 
It's simple really.  It's just being present to the presence of her.  Watching the world open up by watching her unfold. 
I'm so thankful for these moments I get.  A grace gift.  A gift I don't deserve, but get to enjoy.  A gift where I get the season of time to invest in my almost four year old.  To celebrate her and strengthen bonds.  To focus on her.  
Let me tell you, she has the most gorgeous brown eyes and golden hair. 
A nose that crinkles when she smiles and a tummy that is round and spills out of most of her clothes. 
I'm in love with Moriah more this year.  This is the year I study her.
I'll close with this poem from Irene Foster.  I read it when I was a new mother and always loved the sentiment it captured.  I used to keep it on my fridge to remind me of what was important. 
I lost my way for a while, but now I'm refocused and resolved.  And part of this resolve lies in these old old words...



"Now is the time to get things done…wade in the water, sit in the sun, squish my toes in the mud by the door, explore the world of a girl just four.
Now is the time to study books, flowers, snails, how a cloud looks; to ponder “up,” where God sleeps nights, why mosquitoes take such big bites.
Later there’ll be time to sew and clean, paint the hall that soft new green, to make new drapes, refinish the floor – Later on…when she’s not just four.”


My Moriah 

Everyone of us have a special place in our heart for Third Girl 

Those eyes, Chocolate like Daddy's


My teacher, this year. About what Is important and how to slow down and savor the world 




Comments

  1. Such a sweet retelling! I have all boys and I miss those young days when they were so little. I still hug them often and try to study them as deep as I can to try to hold onto each moment. Motherhood is such a blessing!

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  2. I am so glad that you get to spend one on one time with your little big kid. Such a cute way to reminisce on her birthday.
    In that car seat picture is she wearing a puggles shirt? I just caught that. We love puggles my big kid and I

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  3. Oh these are the times, exhausting and sweet, that you'll remember always, friend ...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Somer,
    Your girls (and baby boy) are just the cutest! You have articulated so beautifully in this post what Moriah means to you and how important it is to relish these days (that I'm sure pass so quickly). You recognize all the critical things in motherhood and what's more, you put them into action to devote such individual time to her to get to know her!

    And by the way, you are amazing to homeschool and even more amazing to realize that other options may be more beneficial to your stage of life. I think it takes great courage to change course and you are showing your girls how to live and that is priceless. Somer, you are such an inspiration! xoxo

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