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Happy Place

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Happiness...
It's what we deeply wish for ourselves or even more deeply for people we love.
When I think of the word happy I think of my little third girl with the chocolate eyes and honey colored hair. She is like sunshine.  She loves yellow. 
I always think of bright yellow or tangerine orange.
I think of brilliant sunshine, and always warm weather.
I think of familiar eyes of people I've long loved.
I think of book stores.
I think of my parents front porch.
I think of tiger lilies.
I think of a bouquet of hot pink roses.
I think of the ocean.
I think of deeply green grass.
I think of road trips. 
I also think of You Are My Sunshine.  That simple song we sing to kids.  
I used to sing it to my oldest girl every night.  One night lying beside her with her dark blonde hair spread out on her pillow she stopped me, "Please don't sing that song.  Please.  I don't want to go away.  I don't want to go away." 
She knew that I meant that she was my sunshine and that refrain, "Please don't take my sunshine away" really bothered her.
She started to cry.  So we stopped that song.  
That melted my heart a bit, to think she so didn't want to leave.  
Fast forward a few years and she's still my sentimental one.  
Her last week of summer we had to do something just two of us. As she would say, "Mommy and Meredith" time. 
I've always found that my girls blossom in the weight of my full undivided attention.  Even if it isn't long.  I also realize that usually that's best accomplished out and about.  Just the two of us. 
It was after nine.  My husband got home late, but I knew tonight was our night.  Before the hustle of school work to finish, hair to dry, and lunches to pack. When she could still sleep in the next day and we wouldn't have to rush.
After everyone else was ready for bed we said good bye and dashed out the door.
She wanted to go shopping.
Not too many stores are open at nine thirty. 
It didn't matter. We traipsed all over WalMart picking out her hypothetical Christmas, Mother's and Father's Day gifts and birthday gifts for people.  
As it neared 10:45 we pulled into Krispy Kreme for our late night treat.  
Holding her pillow of hot glazed goodness and wearing a slight milk mustache we talked about whatever it was she thought was important.  
The conversation consisted of some little kid humor with a side of angelology. "Do angels exist? Are they girls or boys?  What angels do we know about it?..."
Somewhere in that discussion she decided to talk about Heaven and how it is the most happy place. How once you arrive in Heaven you never want to come back here.  No, never.  
As we got back in the car she stuck her chin out and put her head on my stomach. 
"You're still my sunshine.  You make me happy." I smiled down at her.
She laughed, "Do you remember that I didn't like that song?  I didn't want to go away?"  Her freckle splattered nose crinkled and her green-gold eyes danced.
"Yes" I nodded.  
Those are the sweetest happiest moments within a relationship.  The ones when we are all there and all in.  Where its just two people really talking.  Nothing to distract. 
The pocket full of moments ended with our car ride, but the link in our chain of love was lengthened, deepened.
I know that's how God wants it too.  That we have simple, quiet concentrated moments to savor knowing Him and being loved by Him.  To pause and see Him, today.  To sit silently and watch the sky and notice Him.  We all blossom in the light of His undivided attention and love.  That's why I think He wants us to stop and pray. To slow down ourselves that we might hear Him, love Him.  
I also think that just like I have to purposefully make time to focus all of my attention on my Meredith to really zero in on her and make sure there won't be any distractions, I have to do that many times to effectively spend meaningful time with God.  I have to pull away and have all of me there.  And it can be so simple.
In relationships it can be so much about what we do for each other, what we are producing...but that's not the whole.  Everyone wants to know that they aren't just doing things for each other, turning out productivity, but rather that we hold each other's heart and treasure the soul of the other.
I've often noted that when my kids are trying to tell me something but I'm too busy doing something for them to listen. The irony of it.
That many times its better to be with someone, side by side.  Rather than generating so much activity.  It's simple.  It's happy.
Where's your happy place?





Comments

  1. Hi Somer!
    I love it that you carve out time for the girls to be with you alone, giving them your undivided attention. Aren't those the times the most interesting questions come up and the sweetest memories happen that you'll hold on to forever? Meredith seems to have inherited your compassionate, soulful heart and I love how you encourage her! What a treasure you offer your girls -- the gift of you! xo

    ReplyDelete

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