Skip to main content

Prodigal Prayers

The electronic ding of my cell phone cut through one thirty clamor and reminded me...
Again...
It's time to pray...
Some days it would be quick and the same prayer.  A mantra that I would ask for...
For healing, restoration, and salvation for three....
I had committed a year to praying for three...
Every day at a set time...
Driving a stake in the sand and not leaving...
Some days it would be inconvenient and I would forget...
Some days I'd curl up in the floor and be more earnest..
Some days I would mumble the prayers with my hands submerged in dirty dishes and sometimes I'd include my kids in the prayers out loud as we whisked around town...

It seemed so normal, scheduled, and really unexciting.
I had joined hands and hearts with three people too, but some fell out along the way....
Things really didn't seem to change much.

And then.....

They did. Slowly.
God was working and I didn't know.  The year concluded and honestly I slipped into a funk of my own.  I was depressed, distracted, and downward spiraling myself so to speak.
I heard my friend tell me though things were changing for one.  One of the ones we had so earnestly prayed for.  Like a slow spring thaw...God was breathing grace over heart ice and it was melting....
I was glad.  Surprised.  Especially that of the three, he was the one whose heart was altered.
I felt joy.  Joy that something had come form all those little prayers.  I couldn't believe it.
And things had changed drastically for this one.  From rock bottom to now singing songs to God and leading other people.
"He has changed so much.  He talks about spiritual stuff all the time now.  He's doing Bible study with other men."
I found it a bit hard to believe.  I was pleased, but very surprised.  Especially coupled with my own feelings of confusion and spiritual failure.
"He is so thankful for all the prayers you prayed for him. It means so much to him."  I heard her say and the words settled in my heart.  I smiled.  Maybe I had actually been a part of something good I thought.

Sin has a way of doing that to our hearts.  We can have a very vibrant flourishing faith, lead others well, and be overflowing with God's power.  And then we can fall.  Almost when we are totally not expecting it.  Like charging ahead and then falling fast head over heels into a pit.

And after the fall comes these fast rushing thoughts that say, "I am worthless.  I am a failure.  Nothing  about me is good. I've made a mess of it all.  No, I am a mess."  We define ourselves by the failure, the sin, and the shame.  That's now our new identity.  And we wear it.
We forget that our life had a beginning far beyond this and that at one time and at many times our lives were a blessing, a gift, a light.
I've been in this desert for a few months now.  Feeling like the whole of my life that I tried so very hard to do right got swallowed up by a brief season of wrong.

She calls me cutting into my soul storm,  "He is praying for you, Somer.  He's praying for you.  He credits all your prayers for changing the course of His life.  He is so thankful for you. "
The words are hard to hear.
I think about them. Ponder them.  Try to make sense of the role reversal.
How all the prayers and love I spilled out are now boomeranged back to me.  How the one I prayed so much for is now one who is begging God to help me.
God's grace is amazing, truly.
Sometimes the pure and prayerful fall and they get to be prayed for by the very prodigal that they begged God to miracle change.
Because we are all prodigals.  We all get lost.  We all stand before the throne of God with equal needs of Him.
Sometimes God does allow us to wander and be on the receiving end of much forgiveness...So we will love much.
"He's praying, Somer." I'm humbled.
I need prayer just as much as he does and I nod and say, "Thank you." It's God's way of kissing me with grace when I want to run from it.

http://holleygerth.com

Comments

  1. Hello friend!
    How glad I am to hear that your season of dark is turning lighter! Prayer is such a powerful and mysterious channel for God's love to find our way to us when we pray for others, isn't it? I've done this myself this year as I've prayed for another and seen a powerful shift in my circumstances through prayer! Standing with you in hope for a fresh start, a year of new beginnings and a year of knowing you are God's beloved!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Summer, this encouraged me so much! Will be sharing with my online prayer group. Blessings :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

31 Days of Free Writes #Wave

Four summers ago the first weekend in September marked one month.  One month lived out shaky and unsteady.  Just putting a few steps in front of the other and letting tears drip down faces or anger spill out at the sky.  "Why?"
I had watched my husband shake violently at the graveside of his twenty-six year old brother as he sat a few inches from the casket.
My usually stoic husband reached out for the casket as he passed by and I heard his voice crack as he called out his name.  One more time. I had never seen him stricken with grief.  That groan of emotion haunted me.   Those fifteen minutes spent under the funeral home's green awning the last minutes his family would ever be within arms length of this special brother.  A brother who had just slipped quietly out of this life beneath the green gold water of a river one steaming August day.  Bare chested and tan, jumping off the dock with friends.  Never to resurface again.
A lot of that week in August was just wakin…

Five Minute Fridays - "Last"

Last is such a final word, it’s a word that always makes us sit back and take note. We take note of the fact that something is about to draw to an end and we better enjoy the last drops, savor the last bites before its all gone. Like that last hot week of summer that we spend soaking up every last beam of Vitamin D. Or that last couple bites of a once a year Christmas dinner, slowly swallowed down. Or maybe the last night of a vacation where we try to take note of everything and know that we are returning to real world, real bills, real deadlines all seemingly too soon. Two weeks ago I experienced a last. For seven months I was given a gift. It was truly an unexpected gift. One I had never anticipated being given. For the past six years my sister Faith and I have lived in different cities for most of the time. We always mused over the idea that we should've lived together for at least one year of college. But from icy January 4th to steamy August 10th I had the gift…

Morning

Five Minute Fridays
Morning

Morning seems sacred to me.  Having nocturnal children kind of robs me of the mornings I like to enjoy in silence and quiet thought.
For years I would get up at least two hours before anyone so I could just be by myself and be quiet.
My parents are early morning people that like to eat full breakfasts and watch the sunrise on the porch. There's something exciting about watching the day open its' eye lids with the first glints of sun playing on the horizon edge.  Pale blues and periwinkles rouse us out of pitch black and many times morning rises in strength with extravagant colors.  It signals something new.  A new twenty four hours.  A new chance. Kind of like a new little slice of life.  We are mesmerized at first at the idea of new.  It's beautiful, holy, and hopeful.
Morning breaks the night.
I love that Cat Steven's hymn Morning has Broken.  I've always thought the words were so beautiful.
Especially the last phrase, "God&…