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Five Minute Fridays #Trust

Five Minute Fridays

Writing for five minutes about one word...Trust

A table of freshly graduated high schoolers sit around the dining room of a beach house at Holden Beach.  Plates are being passed, memories are being shared between the six of us who grew up beside each other and are now sharing one of our last meals together before we branch out on our own.  The question arises by a parent present as to where everyone will be heading off in August.  Which college?
I remember my dear Jenna.  The way she answered the question like usual.   A school she picked quite different from everyone else's.  Remote location, small school, and not a soul she knew who went there.  I remember one of the parents scoffing at her choice.  It wasn't practical, it wasn't typical,  she a salutatorian could't receive a full ride there..and really who had ever even heard of it.  Why was she wanting to spend four years in the corn field carpeted rural Indiana?
Fresh freckles peppered her face from the week we had all spent in bikinis and not enough Coppertone splashing in the water as a group of eighteen year old girls.  Jenna's deep, dark brown eyes looked ready to defend anyone wanting to know why...why she was going where she knew no one.
She explained her reasons for Indiana and that was that.  It was plain her mind was made up.
I always remember her reference to the famous Robert Frost poem...


She used these words from antiquity to sum up her resolute yet mystifying actions to some small minded people who were utterly perplexed by her choices.
Jenna is one of my closest friends.  She is one woman I've known most of my life and have watched make hundreds of choices big and small.
I've always admired her ability to make a good decision.
She comes from a tough as nails mom. Two women who have a healthy knowledge of themselves and reality.  Who aren't needy, but brave. Who aren't swimming in regret over choices made to appease other people but leave them empty and wondering why?
Here's what I've always loved about Jenna...her ability to follow and trust her heart even if most people, even good people questioned it.
You know we are told many times not to follow our hearts in the Christian arena.  I think thats because we confuse the idea of our hearts being sinful with the idea that our heart also is the house of a God shaped bent, personality, and dream He has invested within us.
Sometimes following the dream or choices God has formed for your heart doesn't fit into the mold even some of those people most close to you understand. Sometimes even God's people don't understand a dream or decision He's leading you to make.  Because they aren't you.
Ever been there?
I remember distinctly experiencing this in different areas of my life.  When only a couple people saw my heart and they knew my decision was right even if it seemed like it didn't make the most sense. And often times I've caved to pleasing God's people rather than God.  We all do that.
I know the opinions, happiness, and idealistic molds of people decided a lot of things for me, but I really want to try to trust those God given whispers that tug at my heart in ways that may not make sense to anyone else...Maybe they are roads less traveled or maybe a road only a couple supported me to take, but they made all the difference....
I remember years later as Jenna moves through life  repeating these lines and me seeing their wisdom, wishing I had been a bit more like her. Brave enough to go after my heart. And happy for the times I have done this.
A couple weeks ago I checked out an anthology of Robert Frost poems.  Reading verse to my oldest girl we flip pages to this poem.  I smile and nod my head at ginger haired Jenna and her poem.  I quizz my oldest girl on the poem when we are done and she gets it...Some roads make all the difference...I hope she gets it now as a seven year old and from now on.  I hope she decides to be honest and have open ears listening to the heart God has shaped within her.  I want her to go after the life God made for her, not anyone else.  And I want to remember this enough to let her one day.
I want her to be like my brave  friend Jenna. Maybe some of the ways I chose the seemingly easier road that made people happy sometimes will be the reason she doesn't.  I hope so.  That is woven there too.  Sometimes we don't choose the road we know in our hearts we should.  We aren't being true to who we are and we suffer for it.  Wrestle with it.  Maybe it isn't wasted, but its the reason we can help other people choose rightly.
I want her to be able to truly find that for which her heart was made, no matter if it is a road far less travelled.  It is a difference isn't it?  To live a life that you were actually made to live.

Comments

  1. I came over here from FMF—I'm happy to meet you and enjoy your wonderful, intriguing post! I'm parked in the #15 spot this time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jenna's lucky to have a friend like you.

    Nothing wrong with rural Indiana...that's where my wife's from!

    #6 on FMF this week.

    http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2015/10/reaching-for-god-blogbattle.html

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wonderful post. My husband and I went though a really hard time when we knew that we were making the decision that God was leading us to make, but other people, other Christians, did not understand or support it. Trusting Him does indeed require bravery!

    ReplyDelete

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Five Minute Fridays
Morning

Morning seems sacred to me.  Having nocturnal children kind of robs me of the mornings I like to enjoy in silence and quiet thought.
For years I would get up at least two hours before anyone so I could just be by myself and be quiet.
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Morning breaks the night.
I love that Cat Steven's hymn Morning has Broken.  I've always thought the words were so beautiful.
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