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31 Days of Free Writes #Patient

Patient

In that chapter that we thumb to, recite at weddings, remind ourselves of...that chapter about love don't you think its funny that we find the first quality of love is the fact that Love is patient?
Not courageous, noble, brave... no first of all we find that tucked into the heart of love is patience.
How often do we say to ourselves and joke to others, "I'm not a patient person."  or "I hate waiting."
So when we say this, when I spit these words out aren't I really saying I lack love? Because to be lacking in patience is to be lacking in depth when it comes to love.  I'm missing the mark right off...
Patience is so hard.
It's so much easier it seems to do things for someone rather than waiting on them...just waiting. Endless waiting.  Waiting for them to shape up, change, be ready, come back, reciprocate the love back, be with us, our relationship to move forward, or maybe just to please stop that annoying habit...
I think Patience is the mark of real love because it is the doorway to unconditional love.
Unconditional love isn't hurried, isn't contingent on time requirements, isn't rushed.  It bears the mark of one who possesses the commitment to wait.  The commitment to wait because love won't let them leave, give up, or get over it.
I wonder if that is why it shows up first on Paul's love list.  Because to love anyone truly means you will be patient, your love won't shut down because a time frame wasn't met, and it won't run out no matter how many buttons get pushed.  It will find a way even if that way is simply just to hang out in life's waiting room.
I watch my daughter watch the hands on the clock drag by.  She feels the five minutes she must wait  really will take forever.
"Meredith," i coax, "Do something else and it will go fast."
Isn't it true? When I so want something to happen, or to change, or to end the waiting seems so long when I stare at it and tinker with it trying to control the outcome; however, when I look elsewhere and enjoy the moments that are, the minutes move, the moments merge together until finally the time is here and I hadn't really noticed.
It's true of love too...I focus in on what I most want to change and it never seems to happen.
I glance away and enjoy what is and I find myself turning back to the clock and seeing the wait is over.
Patience is so hard to grasp.  Just when I think I am patient I am asked to sit through her classroom again and relearn her lessons.  I don't like her perhaps because she is a discipline.  Maybe I don't like her because she seems so ineffective.  So calm and almost lazy....waiting while the world marches on.
Maybe I should like patience because she teaches me how to love anyway in this moment.  The now.  The only moment we ever truly grasp.  And maybe all these moments total up to the change we wanted, the outcome we desired, the wait finally over...
Sort of like that butterfly cocooned in its chrysalis. I may want the wait to be over, but my love is still beating within the confines placed and those wings that beat despite the circumstances eventually give me strength to fly when let loose.  I emerge with a patient love that can truly last.

Comments

  1. Do something else and it will go fast. Good advice, Mom. I'll have to remember that next time I'm impatient from waiting. I love the free flow form here.

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  2. Somer,
    I love how you describe patience! Just when we think patience eludes our grasp, we realize our wait is over and we have grown. I can't imagine the patience needed for raising children :) but I suspect you have more patience than you give yourself credit for! So happy to read your thoughts again, friend! Hope the new little one is bringing you much joy! xo

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  3. All the patient waitings summed up to the change we really want. Yes, ma'am. That is beautiful.

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