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Here

Linking up with Kate Motaung at Heading Home to write about one word Here for five minutes on a Friday...hence Five Minute Fridays...

Here

I think this is the perfect word for me to ponder.  Right now.  Right Here.  Here where I am.  

Here is where my life is happening.  It really is the only place our life is ever happening.  It is the only guarantee.  The only sure thing.  Here and Now.  
Yet, how I've missed here.  
We or maybe people like me are always angling, arching, reaching, trying to see over to the crest of the hill...over There...
One day...
And there is not a thing necessarily wrong with ambition, dreams, hopes, or wanting things here to change...in fact those things can fuel a better here when we get there....
But if I'm not careful my life, that isn't ever about a final snapshot, but is really a time lapse of all of these precious never to be consumed again here- moments...my life runs away and I miss it.  

I know this is true.  
We want change and sometimes very rightly so, but am I so consumed in that quest for There, that I miss my life because I failed to see the poignant beauty of here?

I'm swelled full with a full term baby boy.  That is my here.  I am at the stage of waiting where everything is more cumbersome.  I tried to run the other day a couple hundred yards to reach someone and found myself barely able.  What a difference twenty pounds of centrally located weight can make.  In my head I thought I could, but the reality of my here and now was that I couldn't quite.  
Sometimes I want to get there, because here hurts.  
Sometimes I am discontent because the here is heavy
Sometimes I want there, and fast because what is happening here is hidden from me

Don't get me wrong, pregnancy is a beautiful thing but those last couple of months can be quite uncomfortable.  
Feet swelling, night time wrestling and giving up sleep because there is no comfortable position to assume, everything just seems heavier, weighted down,  leg cramps, heart burn, fatigue, little room to bend, to breathe
The here many times does hurt...
Life is like that so often.  
At the exact moment that I am most uncomfortable what is hidden in the here and now is something invaluable.  I can feel the effects, the strain, and the stretch of something growing.  I know that within the here right under my heart is a life that will soon be There on my chest.  
The strain will cease and all of the heres will materialize into a beautiful There...
Yet it was all the here and now moments that birthed the There...
There isn't another way....

We can control to extent the here and now we enter into.  The doors we walk through.  But really it is an illusion to believe that we can only live here and be happy if all is as we think it should be.  We can't control events or even the behavior of other people.  We only own our own power of response to here.  I can resist it and ball my fist up and many times I do, or I can palms up live and not waste the here and see it for what it is...my life.
And when the here does hurt and the meaning of it is hidden I can find other people in the same juncture where their orb of hurt is going to deliver life...one day and I can just be with them here...
I think many times instead of planning on what we will become there, God most often just wants us fully awake and alive next to His heart...right here and now..
And I'm confessing I'm so bad at it. Such an amateur at it.  
But it is why my favorite words strung together in scripture are these, 
2 Corinthians 4:17-18
For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

There is so much beauty right here that is happening that I don't want to miss these moments thinking about the next phase, that will never be repeated...
And yet there is always pain here too, there are always those hidden, hurtful seasons of here...
 I just wish I could let these verses fuse into me so that maybe just maybe Id gain the right perspective....

To embrace the Here no matter what it looks can only be done with a heart of trust that ultimately sees God here and now and isn't waiting to find Him somewhere else.  


Almost ready to "pop"



She even knows there is something wonderful within.

Isn't it amazing what God does in the darkness?  Baby girls first few hours...
Can't believe its almost time again




Comments

  1. I am so happy for you. What a wonderful time just before you meet your second child. And, you are right. This particular experience is do encircled with projecting ahead. You will definitely not be in the here too long. Congratulations! A FMF friend.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Somer,
    You're having a boy to add to your beautiful family of girls -- how wonderful is that! Praying for you, friend and can't wait for the first photos!

    ReplyDelete

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I love that Cat Steven's hymn Morning has Broken.  I've always thought the words were so beautiful.
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