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Five Minute Fridays - Dare

Its a special day for our family.  The baby's birthday.  So had to believe 600 and more days have clicked away since we first beheld her face.
Today I'm joining a flashmob of writers at Heading Home for five minutes of writing about one word...

Its funny that this would be the word.  I have not felt very daring as of late.  Questions, doubts, and confusion have hung like storm clouds low to the earth.  Like June humidity bearing down and making it hard to think.
Satan always knows what he can touch in our lives that will send us reeling.  He knows those outskirt issues in our lives that still fester, have never quite healed.  He remembers them even when I forget them.
Recently i had them nettled, prodded again.
I felt them sting.
It had been a while.  But I was brought back to the realization that some thorns in our flesh are there for a reason.  I've prayed Paul's prayer before that they would be removed and quick.
And some are removed and we celebrate the victory. Sometimes though they are the vice God uses to make me walk beside Him and lean hard into Him.
 Sometimes the battle I go through is like spiritual weeding.   You kill the weeds in one patch of grass but find in another.  They have to be yanked out by the roots.
I went through some of that weeding recently.  And it hurt.  But what Satan meant for evil God transfigured for good. He taught me a lot.  Still is.  About who He is and who i am.  About grace, second chances, and the stark reality that none of us possess all the answers.  Only Jesus does.
About putting childish ways of thinking away.  Thinking like the woman I'm supposed to be.  The one who has had Christ living within her for many years now.  Sometimes those childish ways of thinking are hurts from the past, lies I believed that He must root out.

I had thought about completely deleting my blog.  Never stuttering across keys again.  Just giving up in different avenues of my life.  Why is it worth it, if I seem to make a glaring mess of whatever my hands touch?  That is the lie I believe I was offered.  Would I believe it? I had definitely been offered that lie on many occasions of my life.  And many times I had believed it.
I had believed it as a teenager, as young child, as mother, as a wife, and here it was again. Would I put away the childishness of believing that I had to get everything right or would I embrace that I who makes a plethora of mistakes am always offered grace for them.  Would I let God pull out from me the lie i had received and accepted that I had to be perfect to be a Christ follower?

The tentacles of it wrapped around my heart.  Like they have before.
But they did not win.
Today as I opened up my Bible I unexpectedly opened to some of my favorite verses... 2 Corinthians 3 & 4.
Those chapters are so powerful, so hopeful, so what I always need to remember.
Two treasures tucked into the last of chapter 4 read, "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

What a promise.  That all the storms, all the battles, all the trials are achieving for all of us who bear the name of Christ an eternal glory that overshadows them all.  That nothing I ever go through in this life will be wasted.  It will all be worked out for the good.  That those things I war against are not wasted.  They are a part of my story, my testimony, the glory of God's work in my life.

The past two weeks in Awanas I have been helping my oldest daughter remember Psalm 23.  We all know this Psalm backwards and frontwards.  But when I chant it out with her I savor each verse.
Verse 5 soaks into me...

You prepare a table before me
 in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
 my cup overflows.

Sometimes the table I get to enjoy is precisely in the presence of my enemy.  Our only real enemy Satan.  
It's funny how so often I want to run when I see his work, feel his doubts, and hear his accusations heavy and hot in my ears.  
Many times that is where the richest table of my life is, where my cup runs overflowing.  Where the glory of Christ in my life shines the brightest. Right there in the presence of the dark.  

Do I dare? Dare to obey God, to believe God when the dark tries to silence me, condemn me, and quiet me.  
I haven't always won this battle, but I say "Yes" today.  


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