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Magic Moment - Coffee for Your Heart

It's Wednesday and promising to be a very hot one...
I'm linking up with Holly Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart

Sometimes you read books that truly make you think...make you think differently, think deeply, think better.
I'm reading a marriage book that I actually want to finish and have been blessed by that has quite an unconventional title, Sexy Christians. Passionate marriage counselor and author Ted Roberts and his wife Diane penned this book out of their deep desire to see Christian marriages healed and whole.
They are defining oneness in marriage as a whole, not just little pieces or compartments.  Isn't that true of all of our lives?  Isn't true that this concept of whole hearted living is to be a part of every avenue of our lives?  All the parts and pieces of our lives overlap with the next and effect for the positive or negative of the whole.  That is why it truly is not effective to only focus on one aspect of your marriage and expect success in the broad scheme of it or your life, for that matter.
The simple definition Ted and Diane Roberts put forth for Biblical intimacy is, "True Biblical intimacy is developing the ability to be uncomfortably close and vulnerable with another imperfect human."  (pg. 21). If that isn't the normal definition of intimacy it continues, "We tend to see intimacy through the distorted lens of romantic fantasy rather than as one of the greatest spiritual growth tools God ever designed"(pg.21).

Well if you have been married for awhile, even if its just a couple weeks you know that "opportunity for growth" phrase to be true.  Achieving oneness with someone of whom you are entirely different from and who shares flaws and faults just as you are filled with is in a word, difficult.
This week marks eight years of marriage for me and my sweet husband.  Eight years ago I had a simple white flower in my hair, a dress dripping with lace and beads, a bouquet of tiger lilies and had my brown eyed husband sing to me after promising to spend the rest of his life loving me.  It was truly my most favorite day. Ever.  The best day of my life.  The sweetest day of my life.  I remember that I was truly and simply elated.  No drama, nothing amiss and I remember being unable to wipe that smile off of my face.  It was a magical day filled with beautiful moments.
It's important to remember.  I pulled out my dress yesterday and let my girls play in it.  I took them to the church we were married in and let them peek.  We flipped through the album of pictures taken before wedding pictures looked like artsy magazine spreads and they asked lots of questions.

Ted Roberts mirrors the importance of this remembering early on in Sexy Christians.  Its a key that couples need to use when feelings of frustration mount and doubt or anger creeps in.  He refers to it as remembering the "magic moment".
"Through the years we've learned that something special happens when husbands and wives-even those having a hard time making their marriage work - share their stories.  In nearly every case, their eyes soften and their voices warm as they express the magic of their first hours together" (pg.34).

A month ago when I first read these words I gave it a try and I couldn't help but feel a smile creep on my face as I remembered the first moment I met my husband.  Seventeen in a parking lot at a high school graduation.  I can still remember that red shirt I was wearing and the slate gray one he had on. I remember the handshake I gave him that made his face twist sideways as I gave him undoubtedly the firmest handshake he had ever received from a girl.  I remember the words he said, "I think I've seen you at church" Voicing what we both already knew (we had both been staring at each other for half a year, too afraid to say anything).
I literally remember the electricity of that moment.  I remember saying between lips that couldn't stop smiling, "I'm Somer."  I remember his sideways smile and the few statements of maybe we would hang out or meet again at church and actually talk this time.  I remember the way I smiled as I walked away and somehow I just knew something special had happened between his honey brown eyes and my true blue ones.
One funny detail is, for all the months I had stared at him I had imagined him to be from India or some unknown destination; however, after the words, "I'm Keith" left his mouth I knew there was no way that this boy was from anywhere but the country south.

17 and 19 

So what is your magic moment?  That moment you can go back to that is pivotal and altered your life forever. The moment that was orchestrated by God ?  Allowed by God? Planned by God?  That moment that has the architecture of God blueprinted in all its details?
I love the way Dr Roberts describes the significance of the first moment, "Even if you two drive each other nuts, you share a God-ordained magic.  Drive a stake of His grace solidly in the ground and rediscover the magic of the moment-that sovereign moment when you met- that outrageous moment when the sparks flew and Heaven rejoiced-that beautiful moment when human passion was mysteriously touched by divine potential" (pg. 37).
It helps to recollect it.  To re collect the memories.  Re visit. Re count. Re live. Re make.  Maybe that is why the Bible is filled with people who memorialized with stones. To always have a marker to come back to. Tangible.  So that when they needed to they could re collect all the reasons of why they were committed and why they should be thankful.  Something that they could visualize, remember stone by stone what divine moment had happened on that earthly ground. Remember when this piece of earth was Heaven kissed and forever sacred.
I recollect, to re collect the beautiful pieces of my life and then reassemble me. Better. Thankful. Hopeful.   
Remember your magic moment and let it transform your heart today.

*Quotes taken from Sexy Christians: The Purpose, Power, and Passion of Biblical Intimacy by Dr.  Ted and Diane Roberts.


  1. I love this reminder to remember our magic moments and thank you for sharing yours -- it was truly magic!

  2. This sounds like a great book, Somer! Thanks for sharing it. I love that you let your girls play in your dress and then took them to see the church you married in. What an incredibly, meaningful day! That was a great way to let them be a part of your special day 8 years ago. Happy anniversary!

  3. Candace, that is my mom in me. She always let me and my sister wear her dress. The neighborhood kids all wore it around to play wedding and she tied a baby pink ribbon to her veil so that all the girls could take turns with the veil still too big for our heads. At the end of our childhood there wasn't much left of the dress.
    And yes, its a great book! i've learned so much from it, its very eye opening.
    Valerie, thank you for your sweet words.


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