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Because you are  a Daddy….I am a mommy






A child…yes it takes two…it’s not from one without the other…no matter who it comes out looking like or acting like….whose hair color dominates or whose chin dimples, or whose skin colors the cheeks….
No matter the features, no matter the laugh, no matter the quirks…
Two threads of DNA from two representing people tightly thread through every cell of new DNA at the literal moment of their meeting womb side….and create a brand new person that has never been and never will be again….

It always takes two…

God is always pursing relationship, pursuing closeness, pursuing intimacy….and remarkably in the literal act of recreating life He requires the coming together of two…who couldn’t without the other….New life can’t be created in isolation…Even Jesus created the world in the fellowship of The Trinity…

Father’s Day is this weekend and I wanted to say thank you for all of the ways I am now a mommy because you are a daddy…..

For the first shopping trip I let you lead as you picked out outfits for our first daughter two weeks new…and the way I let you put those magenta knit sandals on her tiny feet and let you cradle her in your arm as you took a proud picture….

For the way that our first girl makes your silly jokes
For the way our second girl can sing like you and even though she looks the most like me, she has your attention for detail and stubbornness 
For the way our third girl’s eyes are honey brown like yours and the way your face literally melts when she says your name

For the way that God used you plus me to create three something beautifuls…

For every time you choose these girls over other things and give them center stage to dance and own the moment…to have you undivided…

For every time I’ve found you in a sea of pink fluff somewhere in the middle between two girls who have had nightmares and you never made it back ….

For every time I’ve seen you brush through my blonde hair repeated thrice on theirs and style it better than I can….

For every time someone has asked who painted their nails and they answer "Daddy!" because I'm not good at stuff like that....

For every time I’ve seen you pull up their arms and tickle them with abandon and them beg you to stop…barely able to breath between giggles…but really mean… "Daddy please don’t stop” with their eyes….

For all of the silly…unscholastic stories you tell them…that keep them laughing when they are supposed to be sleeping

For the way you demand they listen to me when you watch them walk all over me…the way you tell me to stand up for myself and be in charge…even you know that’s not me…

For the way you always believed they would grow best and be loved most if their mother was the one giving it out….so you've always worked extra jobs and cleaned toilets on top of all you do…so I could…so we could live out this dream with these girls….

Thank you for being a daddy so that I could be a mommy…

For the way you’ve supported different choices I’ve made about their school, their activities, their lives…you’ve agreed with the choices God has led me to instead of fighting me…
You have confidence in me as a mom….more than I have in myself…Thank you…and as a new mom on shaky ground…completely unsure if I could ever do this thing called motherhood…you had confidence in me when I was just 22 and without a clue...

For the way that you always want to “do something” (which drives me crazy) with them if you ever have a day off…some adventure that leaves us all tired, but them filled with memories

For the way you are over “jelly rolled beach club towels” and empty clothes baskets and ironing before hanging pre kids….(even though my lack of gardening and sense of organization still gets to you)…you are happier seeing me laughing with the girls than worrying about having a domestic check list I’ve sped through and completed…you’ve changed a lot…still are…


I remember that first ultrasound and everyone since…I saw the flicker in your eyes…the anticipation as you wanted to know...
And every time you smiled happy as you knew you were getting another girl….to love….to be closer to you than you think…
One day maybe you’ll have a boy to do all of those things that you want to do…but you’re finding out what I already knew…that girls look to their dads…they love their moms deeply, but they need the love of their father’s…its crucial
I read it just the other day in ANOTHER source form another book…that a dad’s relationship with his daughter is more pivotal, more crucial, more weighty than his relationship with his son…It marks her for life…many times determines her value, her sense of worth and charters the course she will take as she pursues other men and seeks to define herself…
Little girls need their dad…
And I see you now…knowing that, realizing that…doing what other men with boys haven’t been called to…and I hear you say to other men who say “Three girls? Don’t spread that to me.”  You smile now and say, “Little girls love their dads.  I love my girls.” 
Knowing that….having a girl isn’t just braiding hair and ballet and Frozen and Tangled…it’s doing the things you love like fishing and hiking and helping her little hand climb to the top, cast a reel, take off her wriggling fish because she refuses too…it’s protecting her heart and offering her approval
It’s turning off your guy show and watching her sing…because more than anything she wants you to tell her, “Sweetie that was great.”
I pour out my love every day on my girls and try to show them what a mother should be and give them unconditional love….but your love gives them the confidence that they are worthy just as they are of a man’s love.
They have to know that…who they are is at stake…what they become and who they will let have access to the vulnerable hearts, really rests in the palms of your hands…in the umbrella of your love….
You show them what a man’s love should look like, and you are the one who will form in their minds on what a good man is supposed to be…
You really dramatize to them forever what it means that a Heavenly Father always loves His daughters…cherishes her and delights in her


And lastly I’m glad that you still love me…for me…and not just for them….
I see it in the way that you look at me when I’m trying to wash clothes, put pajamas on squirming babies, and have my hands submerged in dishwater…the way I know that you would still rather have a sweet date with me than a daddy date with them…
That has been hard for me to understand…because they quickly became top in my book…and taking care of them seems all consuming most of the time…
But I know that I am still top to you…over these three baby girls…
I know I’m still the woman you most want…
That’s made me uncomfortable before….
But I say thank you…because you still call me “Somer Griffin” and remember what it was like when I was a size 3 and rode around in your old silver jeep talking about sunsets and the five kids we said we would have….
How you haven’t lost me…the old me…even in the new me…the mommy me that I’ve become…
And more than anything I thank you for still loving the me that isn’t that 17 year old anymore…the one that came home from the hospital with a body she didn’t recognize and would never be the same…and you still said, “Yes I want you.” To me…even me …the  me I wanted to hide and never let see the light of day again…
I can’t thank you enough for accepting me…as a mom.  For giving me grace when I’ve messed up, when kids have fallen under my care, when I’ve served up cereal or soup again for dinner, and for most of all accepting me as beautiful even when on the outside I’m not like I used to be…
You have recognized me as beautiful now because I’ve been filled with beauty from the inside three times now…
 The me I am now is better than the me I used to be....

And even though we have lots of skirmishes, disagreements about the girls…conflicts over parenting…unmet expectations…and sometimes silence blankets us days long and our time together seems few and far between….

I’m saying thank you for being a daddy…

…so that I can be free to be a mommy…the single most wonderful thing I’ve ever spent my days doing…




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