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Having the Last Word

Having the Last Word…
Its a common phrase we know…its really getting the upper hand, the crescendo, the final punch…
In movies it may be that piqued line said with fervor and passion that finally stands up for itself and sets the record straight…
Our culture is so about having the last word…in everything…and for everyone really…
Anything we are irritated, annoyed, hurt over…we air out…we status update…we lash out…we "have it out" and while we have it out…we spill our hurt and poison on others….and a lot of times on those we never want to hurt...
That crazy driver…we slam the horn…our kids watch and their eyes widen…
That rude waiter!  That horrible customer service…we deserve more and better…
That snobby lady in the grocery store…we will set her straight and now…maybe just by your annoyed tone if you're like me....or maybe a little more vocal...if you're bold

I'm a lion and hear me…hear my hurt…hear my pain…hear my opinion...and watch me roar…
Its like the rhythm of the world….the hurt of the world…and it doesn't really help…just perpetuates the hurt

And more times than not…all that venting our hot air out…dries our souls out and withers others...
I'm not saying that containing our anger and stuffing it down deep is healthy…because its not…but it isn't healthy to always be dishing it up and out for all to see…

June 2010…my sister flew away in a jet to South America..to spend a summer…a summer that was tough…real tough…
Lonely…flea infested apartment…not much food…none of her diesel strength coffee to get her through…and a cold apartment in the dead of winter…she was missing summer at home…
It was for her school, and it wasn't  as she had hoped it would be and she was feeling defeated, deflated, and alone…

Faith and I skyped each other …that was our one form of communication…
She clung to the computer for connection….She was sitting there with soccer socks rolled up to her knees to keep warm…

She wasn't at all in a pleasant mood, most talks…just down and sometimes short with me….
I don't remember the scenario…I don't remember what she said, I just know she let her annoyance spill onto me and that day  I let her have it…
I'm not one to usually do so… I usually hold back my tongue…I don't "tell people off"..usually…but this one time I did… and i honestly think I was technically in the right, because that is the only reason I did take a stand…but my words, they left a wake…and they made me Wake up…to the cost of having to have the Last word…
We tidied up the argument and glossed over..said our good byes…
She was supposed to be going to a group Bible Study, but she missed her ride to the Bible study to finish our disagreement.
"Faith, just stay at home tonight," I pleaded with her…she got off the computer and I went back to my life..

Months passed and she was back at home…we were talking and finally she let me know…
"Remember that night?" she asked tentatively…almost not wanting to let me know
I shook my head yes and then I was told…
"I still decided to go to the Bible study, But I walked.  It was dark and I was walking through town."
I was tense, this sounded bad and I hadn't known…
"I passed a gang of men and one of them followed me.  He kept following me and tried to grab me, but for some reason he couldn't and turned off onto another street."  The fear, the reality of it all was deep in those gray, blue eyes.  And I saw it…
You see were are truly close as sisters could be, there is no other girl besides my own girls that I care so deeply for…Ive staid awake at nights for…praying for, worrying over…
And to know that my lash out, last words could've been the Last words…ever.
My last words caused her to miss her ride… I remember her telling them to go on with out her …and she would come later…and she did protected by God alone, not by me.  
"I was afraid to tell you, Somer…" she whispered…
I nodded my head. "I'm so glad you did"
And I am so glad she did…
We many times do not know the circumstances surrounding the pain of others or really what the situation or context is concerning the other person…our words like wrecking balls, can shatter…even if they are the "right words"…perhaps a silent prayer would be  better…weighted down with patience...
Like James says…our words, our tongues hold the power of life and death…even the right words spoken at the wrong time…are wrong.

Sometimes we really do need to stand, speak up and be counted…but most of the times…our glory is in our overlook..and how much I need to learn that Proverb…
How much rather than be counted…I need to count …and be counted out of the argument...let it end with me...
Because sometimes your last word, could be the last words...
And I'm so glad they weren't...just a reminder that there is the power of life and death in the tongue


My sister, home safe




Linking up with Words of Life WednesdaysA Soft Gentle Voice



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