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Five Minute Fridays # Hero

Hero

"She was a hero, girls"….I say and they all nod solemnly around waffles, milk, and sticky lips…
We read about Joan of Arc and all her sacrifice, her vision, and her faith…we talk about her battles and her martyrdom and all so young and the girsl just can't get over the way Joan died aflame….She was really hero…are there any left? here and now...

There are heroes that I know in my life, but the funny thing is…the older I get and the more I know others and myself…the more I see the tattered edges around most anyone I esteem…They are there…sometimes frayed, unravelled, potholes in their road, kinks that haven't yet been worked out…

I ask Meredith what she hopes for her life…what her dreams are…She used to smile and say a doctor or then it was a "gymnastics girl" but this Autumn she blessed me with the surprise of saying at least twice on different occasions…"A mom who stays at home with her kids."  My soul smiled deep…would she really want to?  Even when some days I have made such a mess of things?  What a confirmation to me…that even in the messiness of me…my girls are seeing some goodness…love is still filling their souls...

 People with my nature tend to give the appearance to others that they are quiet, sweet women, who never raise their voice or utter a cross word…because I can definitely be a placater, an avoider of quarrels…someone who'd opt to be a doormat over someone who breaks through doors…Someone who can be waging world war III while soaping up my hair in the shower, and who can the same day smile sweetly and pat my nemesis on the back….

I walk through parking lot at church and am greeted by lots of doting friends, "The girls are so beautiful," they admire and one lady adds, "And you are such a good mother."
I smile a smile, but all the while…I know in my soul that I try to be a good mother, but there are days that are filled with moments that I just hang onto motherhood and sometimes fail miserably…letting myself down and my kids….

I am the first one to know that I do not have it all together.

We are in that super hero phase of childhood….where oldest girl..six now…is fascinated by them…we don't see much of them, but she asks about their superhero qualities from time to time…she enjoys when we go to little boys homes…she gets to play with all their iron man and spider man toys…she loves it.  She likes Wonder Woman too…  She wears my nursing cover around her neck sometimes and pretends that it is a cape….I find the irnoy running deep…

If their is a symbol that I could look to and point to the work and dedication of my motherhood…its that cover…I've breast fed babies for over four years now…not because I believe its the only way…but because it just worked out that way and in one case …I had a baby that walked and talked and would not let me stop...

The more i have walked down this road of shouldering the responsibility of life for another human being…being a mother…I know like never before that I do not know very much at all…but that is okay, because I know the One who Knows All…And if I had an anthem it would be the refrain of  that old hymn saying to Creator God, Wisdom Holder…I Need Thee…every hour I need Thee…

I have learned that I am not a super hero mother…but a mother who knows I need a Hero and is learning that He really is just a whisper away…. 

Nursing Cover is now a Super Hero Cape 

Tuesday I'm running around trying to get everyone ready…early…i planned the night before…woke up very early before morning whispers "rise and shine" to the sky and light shafts, yawn and stretch…waking up the earth…you know early….I thought i had it all together…all planned out for a "no stress" drive to sitter and school…and I was wrong…the usual suspects of outfits that people do not want to wear,  a baby who falls down while we are finishing trying to leave the house, papers that were lost….you know the usual suspects of joy squelchers… and as the wheels on "my bus" were rolling towards school  Meredith asked me an interesting question…
She wanted to know the difference between " being a mommy and a daddy"  
"Why doesn't daddy have to get up as early?" she asked…
I answered….something about daddy getting up for his job and me getting up for mine..which happened to be getting everyone ready and out the door for school...
She smiled at me and said,  "Mom, you can't quit your job." 
The smile on my face evaporated any feelings of failure…"Would you want me to quit Meredith?" i dared ask…sometimes I'm sure she would…
"No!" she said spunky, forcefully….
We giggled…

I may not have it all together, I may try different angles, avenues, methods, open different doors…some will work and others won't…there are glory days, sweet days, and down days…messes that I not only clean up, but that I made myself…but she is right…I will not ever quit and I will the continue to walk with the One, the Hero who equips me for every good deed…Who clothes me with His robes of righteousness….who made me, and is now remaking me... who swallows up my lack there of…who gives me this promise, "And in Him you have been made complete." Colossians 2:10...

In Him I am complete…completely able to be a mother or whatever I am called to do…He's the Hero, I'm just along for the ride…singing under the shadow, the cape of His wings…its a good place to be
My cheerleader!  









Comments

  1. Mothering is often viewed as the least appreciated job on the earth, but is the one having the most impact. We may not do it perfectly as we rely on grace, grace, and more grace, but keeping our eyes on THE Hero will get us through the ups and downs. Keep loving on those girls and you'll get through just fine!

    Blessings,
    Tammy ~@~

    ReplyDelete
  2. heroes - yeah, they have tattered edges. but they keep on keeping on. may you do the same with your beautiful ones.

    ReplyDelete

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