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Red - 5 Minute Fridays

  Today’s word prompt is the word Red. Three things flashed through mind’s eye, the general hound dog blessed with this perfunctory name, Ole Red. The color of my sister’s life...Red with accents of black and white. And also my marriage. My husband and I agree about a lot which for man and woman to do is really no small task. We hold the same values, principles, desires for our family’s life, beliefs, education, and even desire to adopt and increase our family. He is passionate about me being at home with my kids and he loves my own family as well. But our likes and dislikes about so much of the common place in life are rampant throughout our life. The word Red is our neutral. I know that is about the most vibrant of all colors outside of neon green and blaze orange. But in our first year of marriage that became our neutral. We got into our first heated debate in a car about the color of paint that we would paint our house, whether we would have a motorcycle, and whether I would acquiesce into having a Doberman pincer as a lovable pup to sleep at the foot of our bed. My mind lives in the shade of blue. Its my beach loving dad in me who possibly owns an entire wardrobe of only teal, green, and every shade of blue imaginable. My parents’ house is splashed with about 6 different shades of teal and blue running through the rooms in continuum. It’s funny the things that come up in conversation in the car or around the tiny hand- me down coffee table at the home of two young newly weds. My husband stated early on his absolute defiance of the color blue! My head just could not wrap around this. I love the color in all its forms *except maybe “country blue” found in many homes circa 1990..I even like to dabble in paints for fun and my allegiance to this color is so much that I tried to convince said husband to bestow the name “Skye” to our first daughter….The details are fuzzy as time has gone on but now as all couples do where two people with differing opinions and interests abide we settled upon red as our main color choice. I think it was in the aisles of Target as debate wore on and we came home lugging a scarlet comforter threaded with gold strands…this never entered my mind…It morphed into Pictures of blazing red flowers scattered on walls, barn red beaming around the small fireplace, red book case and poppy colored red climbing up our curtains….Red our neutral ground…not the wish of either, but that which we both agreed upon.

We have no doberman pincer, but we are on our second frisky gargantuan lab with the mighty name of Brutus who pulls me around like a horse…And my husband commutes to work during the summer often on a motorcycle. We’ve mellowed and adjusted to a life that neither one of us probably would have planned on our own, but that has become ours together.  A life we would have wished for had we only known.
  I walk around flea markets with him looking at junk I will never want, but listening to his comments and watching my oldest little girl’s enthusiasm. I watch him go off in November chill covered in camo and hauling his riffle and declaring as he defrost his deer meat how good it will be. And I have managed a few bites. I once tried to make this deer roast to please him and literally it was one of the worst meals that has ever emerged from my experimental oven and I labeled it non edible. But that husband ate every bite trying to unite it with a bath of A1 sauce that he might be able to swallow dry as dust venison and declaring how great it was.  And while I won't ever be enjoying the confines of a tree stand shivering at five o clock in the morning, he won't be sitting with me on the floor at Barnes and Noble deciding that there is the perfect place to read books with a pumpkin latte in left hand...

We have three little girls who now fill our lives, unlike the dominant male house he came from. And he loves it. They love him. He is their hero or their “ninja warrior” as Meredith calls it. The sight always makes me smile when I find in cotton candy pink room a grown man in between two blonde powder puffs somehow all sleeping a midst the tangle. The man is fitfully sleeping in this too small for all bed because he’s been assuaging a nightmare and never made it back to bed...

All of these different ideas, different family ideals about when clothes should be ironed ( what?), how towels should be folded, what Saturdays look like, what looks like a good meal, and what is chick food (salads speckled with nuts and feta), what is interesting and fun, me nestled in a book and he in a movie, and even our name choices for our kids where my Hippie meets his classic the debate between his beloved Hailey and my artsy Willow or Skye equaled our Meredith...well now all of that somehow is blending. Not that we are totally there, not by a long shot (my inner mind was seething when the Brute the afore mentioned dog was making his home with us)…but we are becoming more We and not two Me’s. And we are more respectful of the differences. We don’t have to like everything and do everything together…that is a grace that comes with a few years and it is very freeing. And all of that started really with the consensus on "no blue" and my defiance of "man cave grays"… oh and I still have hidden away that statue of three fish from Gander Mountain (and I won’t be telling where it is) …and thus we settled somehow on our Red. And its a good life. A life of differences made possible by God's grace.

Comments

  1. Yes, married life is a challenge! Red is so appropriate, and funny that it is your common ground. I too live the life you declare here, although I've sacrificed one room to the mounted heads of deer and cook the occasional ground venison (fyi: if you make the ground venison into spaghetti or chili...the spices kill the wild taste of it and it keeps them happy! :) I've even come to enjoy the fall break form the norm during hunting season...of course I have boys so they all leave....sometimes even the dog!

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  2. I love your stories of compromise. :-) I was waiting for you to say you have a daughter named Scarlet Skye! Haha.

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Morning

Morning seems sacred to me.  Having nocturnal children kind of robs me of the mornings I like to enjoy in silence and quiet thought.
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