Skip to main content

Somer becoming Summer

 If you really know me you know that I am not the eternal optimist.  I try to be for other people, but in reality for myself I'm not.  Its always this outlook I've had that if I expect the worst or prepare for it, somehow I will be better off.  Where the notion came from, I don't know.  I just know its been an old dark friend hiding in the shadows of my mind since childhood. It is a companion with fear and doubt.  These three amigos I've fought against regularly.  I've decided though that I don't have to think like this.  I can embrace the good in my life and hope for the best or better in Christ.  I can laugh fully and I can dream.  I can realize the beauty and gifts all around me in the here and now and I can rejoice in the fact that they have come to me straight from the hands of God wrapped in His mercy and Love.  My name is Somer.  Despite my father's "unique" spelling of my name it means Summer.  Ever thought about the meaning of your name?  Maybe not, but I have.  I like knowing what a name means and it was very important to me when I contemplated the names of my three girls.  I gave a lot of thought not just to the sound, but to the meaning that would be attached to the name. Somer or Summer is really a light weight name upon first glance.  It sounds nice and breezy, but not a lot of depth.  Its not strong like my sisters' name Faith, deep with meaning and value.  Its not a name after a person or an ideal or belief.  When my mom named me that it was simply because she thought it sounded pretty and its a pleasant time of the year.  Recently, I realized that my name being Somer is somewhat laced with irony.  Most of my life I haven't been very "Summer".  When I think of Summer I think of a time of rest, growth, smiles, laughing kids, adventure, warmth, beauty, vibrant, radiant, excitement, energy, basically the most optimistic and fun time of year.  I suppose that is because all children cherish summers.  That time that is spent enjoying ones life fully outside with friends and family doing new things and making warm memories. I want to be that Summer.  I have lived in the thunderstorm plagued part of my name most of my life on the inside and hid it well.  Oh I knew it was there, always under the surface, but it could quickly be covered up.  Funny thing though, when you have kids and a husband its not so easily covered. They see all of your flaws and your defeats and most importantly your attitude.   So basically my resolution is this,  I am Somer trying to become Summer.  I am trying to become my name. For the past two years I've felt God calling me to embrace this eternal optimism found in Him and to recognize His love splashed and splattered all over the canvas of my life.  Perhaps Summer is a light weight name, but I want to live up to that name Mrs. Griffin gave me.  That season of life where Hope is in full bloom and sunshine is pouring out, where life is nurtured and where a harvest is ahead. 


Popular posts from this blog

31 Days of Free Writes #Wave

Four summers ago the first weekend in September marked one month.  One month lived out shaky and unsteady.  Just putting a few steps in front of the other and letting tears drip down faces or anger spill out at the sky.  "Why?"
I had watched my husband shake violently at the graveside of his twenty-six year old brother as he sat a few inches from the casket.
My usually stoic husband reached out for the casket as he passed by and I heard his voice crack as he called out his name.  One more time. I had never seen him stricken with grief.  That groan of emotion haunted me.   Those fifteen minutes spent under the funeral home's green awning the last minutes his family would ever be within arms length of this special brother.  A brother who had just slipped quietly out of this life beneath the green gold water of a river one steaming August day.  Bare chested and tan, jumping off the dock with friends.  Never to resurface again.
A lot of that week in August was just wakin…

Five Minute Fridays - "Last"

Last is such a final word, it’s a word that always makes us sit back and take note. We take note of the fact that something is about to draw to an end and we better enjoy the last drops, savor the last bites before its all gone. Like that last hot week of summer that we spend soaking up every last beam of Vitamin D. Or that last couple bites of a once a year Christmas dinner, slowly swallowed down. Or maybe the last night of a vacation where we try to take note of everything and know that we are returning to real world, real bills, real deadlines all seemingly too soon. Two weeks ago I experienced a last. For seven months I was given a gift. It was truly an unexpected gift. One I had never anticipated being given. For the past six years my sister Faith and I have lived in different cities for most of the time. We always mused over the idea that we should've lived together for at least one year of college. But from icy January 4th to steamy August 10th I had the gift…


Five Minute Fridays

Morning seems sacred to me.  Having nocturnal children kind of robs me of the mornings I like to enjoy in silence and quiet thought.
For years I would get up at least two hours before anyone so I could just be by myself and be quiet.
My parents are early morning people that like to eat full breakfasts and watch the sunrise on the porch. There's something exciting about watching the day open its' eye lids with the first glints of sun playing on the horizon edge.  Pale blues and periwinkles rouse us out of pitch black and many times morning rises in strength with extravagant colors.  It signals something new.  A new twenty four hours.  A new chance. Kind of like a new little slice of life.  We are mesmerized at first at the idea of new.  It's beautiful, holy, and hopeful.
Morning breaks the night.
I love that Cat Steven's hymn Morning has Broken.  I've always thought the words were so beautiful.
Especially the last phrase, "God&…